Truth About Expectations

"Don't expect too much, or you'll be disappointed".  But we all know that it's easier said than done. Having expectations is an inevitable aspect of our lives, it's just an unconscious thing we  all do because no matter what we face in life, we tend to set expectations, and if they are met, good for us, it'll leave us happy and wanting more or even motivated. If they are not met however, we will be left disappointed. This applies in not only your relationship with people but other contexts like education, career or achievement.

Expectations are made by inner hope and it leaves us continuously desiring to reach for something even more. When an expectation is met, we crave for even more. At this rate, nothing will ever be enough for us. The damage comes where the expectations elevate to fake or unrealistic hope. We will feel even more hopeless and start questioning ourselves especially when we've invested so much to meet the expectations we've set for ourselves, or another person, but one thing I learnt is that we should always bear in mind that not everything in life will go our way. Thus, setting too high of expectations will create heartache even though we can’t help but to expect certain things or gestures from another person. The thing about placing expectations on others is that we are letting people have control over us in the sense that we require to be validated by them. When they don't meet this expectation, we will end up being disappointed, and that disappointment turns into resentment and a little part of us will develop this feeling of anger as to why they can’t just do something this simple that you were hoping they’d do. Sometimes we will even feel like we are unworthy of their efforts, and start blaming ourselves too, for not being good enough. It's unfair on both ends as no one likes to feel like a disappointment, or a burden, and neither do they like living or doing something out of pressure of meeting someone else's expectations.

And if you're gonna love, love without expectations because as hard of a pill it is to swallow, not everyone will reciprocate the feelings to the same extent, and love us the same way we love them. Obviously in the context of love, there is a boundary you should not cross. Something that my best friend said that struck to me till this day is that you should love yourself enough not to deal with anything depleting, draining or exhausting because that is not what love is about. It's meant to add up to what already exists within you. But sometimes you don't realise it until it's too late because when the feelings are still there, you tend to look at things through rose coloured glasses. The moment you realise that you have control is when you attain actual happiness. 

So I've decided that from now on I will live my life in the moment, enjoy things while they last and go with the flow. No matter what, you shouldn't have too high of expectations because not everything will go the way you want it to be and rather than stressing out about the what ifs, might as well enjoy it as it is because the truth is that none of us know what the future holds.  It is okay to set expectations as long as the bar you set is reachable and not up in the heavens.